I was listening to the New York Times Book Review podcast the other day. The guest was the author Ann Patchett, who has a new book out. The thing that stuck most with me was the brief discussion the interviewer had with Ms Patchett about the fact that she has never owned a smart phone. If I am remembering correctly Ann Patchett said she didn’t want yet another way for people to contact her. She did say she had a phone she leaves in her car - I assume so she can be contacted while she is out. I wonder how life would be if I gave up my smart phone. These days I seem to spend a bit of time thinking about how I use it and how I want to stop using some apps. Doom scrolling, time wasting.

I think I may be burnt out. Or depressed. Something. I better not get hung up on definitions or symptoms. Anyway. I’ve lost all joy in my job and I don’t even care to try to make any changes that might make things better. I’ve had major surgery this year, too, and maybe that’s contributing to my feeling that everything’s pointless. The healing seems to be progressing acceptably - at least according to my doctors - but I wish I could regain my joie de vivre. Or find a new purpose. Heck, even a new hobby. I thought I might experiment here - anonymously - because I don’t really want suggestions from my friends, colleagues and usual network. Maybe I’m not expressing myself well but when I have tried to talk about how I’m feeling people act awkward and don’t seem to know what to say. At least if I can just write about what I’m feeling here, it’s some sort of outlet, right?